Chuck Norris Jokes > Chuck Joke 304

Chuck Norris Joke #304

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

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2020-01-06 19:30:58

The "Lord of the Rings" directors wanted Chuck Norris to play Frodo. But Chuck denied them because he thought it would only take a pansy 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry.


2020-03-29 14:39:08

Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights on, not because Chuck norris is afraid of the dark, Its because the dark is afraid of chuck norris


2020-03-04 15:02:37

LOL @ the Oscar and
LOL @ the calendar



2020-02-21 19:06:40

chuck norris can believe its not butter


2020-02-08 05:02:52

Chuck Norris has sex with every woman once a month. As a result, they bleed for 7 days.


2020-02-08 05:01:33

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.


2020-01-01 00:27:21

There is one reason why Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his movie. No one gives Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's fucking suicide.


2020-10-17 04:56:02

Chuck Norris can sing the national anthem. With his asscheeks.

David Salthouse

2020-07-06 10:36:58

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Patrick Walsh

2020-03-31 01:56:48

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. Chuck Norris annihilates ass and assigns it a number. Rumored to be in the billions.