Chuck Norris Joke #437

J-DAWG

2020-06-14 17:23:17

chuck norris can hit a baseball so hard he creates a deadly shockwave with a radius over 6,000,000,000 miles

Jim

2020-06-14 05:55:06

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone in the BACK of the face. Then punched his soul as it tried to escape the dead carcass.

Jim

2020-06-14 05:47:50

Chuck Norris knows where Hoffa is

Jim

2020-06-14 05:43:54

Chuck Norris scored a 2400 on his SAT test with just one answer. Violence.
All Chuck Norris problems are solved with Violence

yo mama

2020-06-13 19:10:06

michael myers insulted chuck norris once...now he wears that stupid mask...

chuck norris jr

2020-06-12 23:49:31

chuck norris is my friend.

jimmy

2020-06-11 22:23:15

AP. Dateline Washington D.C. -- 06\21\2010 CHUCK NORRIS HAS SOLVED GLOBAL WARNING: At approximately 11:30 last night, ex V.P. Al Gore, at a Washington mixer, Al made the mistake of coming up behind Chuck and tapping him on the shoulder. All experts agree, Global Warming is now over.

Floris balm

2020-06-06 09:42:11

Hallo, ik ben homo.

seabass

2020-05-28 13:46:58

chuck norris can bitch-slap your ass with his mustache.

Cory

2020-05-28 12:34:48

Chuck Norris isn't a man, hes god's middle finger.

Imma Be

2020-05-26 17:46:21

Global warming is caused by the friction from every one of Chuck Norris' punches

KK

2020-05-26 17:44:33

Chuck Norris can breath in space

24

2020-05-26 17:41:44

Chuck Norris killed a grat white shark by drowning it

teabagger

2020-05-26 10:03:33

Chuck Norris doesn't eat pussy. He kicks it to orgasm.....with a roundhouse!

Jeremy

2020-05-26 09:32:59

dude wow

bob

2020-05-24 11:00:53

God took seven days to create the earth and everything in it. Chuck Norris took one day to create God.

Cody

2020-05-24 06:58:38

When Chuck Norris has an orgasm it leaves exit wounds

Cody

2020-05-24 06:56:57

Chuck Norris aint hung like a horse the horse is hung like Chuck Norris

blabie

2020-05-23 00:11:50

chuck doesn't were a condom id hate to be that girl! ;)

Paris

2020-05-21 10:10:03

I like Chuck Norris,

Chuck Norris Facts

2020-05-20 06:26:13

Cool. Chuck Norris can kill someone though a walkie talkie.

chris

2020-05-17 12:43:24

funny as hell

Liam

2020-05-14 09:13:36

God lives in the sky. But Chuck Norris still looks down at him.

This is my own XP

seabass

2020-05-14 08:28:24

Even God won't use chuck norris' name in vain.

seabass

2020-05-14 08:25:41

God has a chuck norris fish on his car.

john

2020-05-13 19:09:32

lol

james

2020-05-12 22:48:38

do u know y god onli let Jesus on the right hand?


so there was room for chuck norris on the left hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Levi

2020-05-08 14:54:28

Datz funny

George

2020-05-07 17:10:43

it took 10 years for death to build up the courage to tell Chuck Norris!

paul

2020-05-07 17:08:40

Chuck Norris has never been made fun of, because if someone makes fun of him he goes back in time and round house kickes the person before the joke is made!

michaela

2020-05-04 09:24:56

This joke is funny but mostly gay

JC

2020-05-01 19:09:48

Chuck Norris once got a girl pregnant. 9 months later, he was the father to a ford expedetion

Q

2020-04-24 11:54:02

There was no volcano in europe. Chuck Norris was having a BBQ.

SeaHorse Crew

2020-04-22 19:27:23

Pluto was the 9th planet in our Solar System. Then Chuck Norris visited and kicked its ass.

kris

2020-04-20 19:57:14

dogs arnt mans best friend there just security camras so norris doesnt have to search for non belivers

kris

2020-04-20 19:54:29

chuck doesnt have a penis its only a rocket launcher

kris

2020-04-20 19:52:08

q.y was there blood on the road a.the chicken asked chuck how tocross the road pppuuunncchh!!!!!

kris

2020-04-20 19:29:43

same rule aplys with me

Blade

2020-04-09 14:47:43

Why did god create life? ... Chuck Norris forced him.

Blade

2020-04-09 14:46:42

Chuck Norris knows where elvis is.

courtney

2020-03-30 17:54:42

Chuck norris does not wear a condom because if he did get a girl pregnant the fetus would just round house kick her until she died.

alias

2020-03-26 16:35:27

FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kitkat

2020-03-26 16:33:47

FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ninja 16

2020-03-23 13:45:15

this is very wrong and i dont think that it should be on here because people wont jokes not porne

Michael

2020-03-21 12:22:35

Ist this so funny

gansta102

2020-03-17 14:03:21

jesus could walk on water chuck norris can swim on land

gangsta101

2020-03-16 07:45:51

I never thought that I would chat with any one on here.

Snoopdog47

2020-03-16 07:43:18

Oh hey whatsup?

gangsta101

2020-03-16 07:42:25

Hey Snoopdog.

Snoopdog47

2020-03-16 07:39:51

No one ever goes on this site anymore I think I am the only one.

justin prachar

2020-03-14 15:57:48

chuck norris is so tough that he got a big mac at bruger king

luis

2020-03-11 15:09:54

when chuck norris dives into a pool he doesn't get wet the pool gets chuck norrised

john

2020-03-09 02:56:03

when chuck norris lies down with a boner he strikes oil

Drew

2020-03-07 05:44:57

Chuck Norris found everyone who laughed at any Chuck Norris joke and round house kicked them in the face until there was no more humor in the world.

Mackenzie

2020-03-03 17:52:02

I don't use condoms either when I have sex with my boy friend.

brodie

2020-03-03 17:47:08

who here masterbates because i do

Jordan :)

2020-03-03 17:41:46

hahaha

Snoopdog47

2020-03-03 17:39:39

Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch him self in the back of the head.

Lenik

2020-03-03 08:15:37

Halarious

Ira

2020-02-23 14:43:14

Even Freddy Kruger is affraid that chuck norris will fall asleep.

martin

2020-02-10 13:31:11

chuck norris upper cuted a horse and made a new breed of animal the Giraffe.

Blade

2020-02-03 00:56:49

Suck Chuck Norris' cock. - Bill Hicks

Blade

2020-02-03 00:55:14

Chuck Norris knows all foreign languages, and ALWAYS has.

X

2020-02-02 02:51:32

chuck norris doesnt yawn, he roars.

James

2020-01-29 07:47:47

Chuck norris once sneezed while holidaying in japan.... hiroshima was never the same after that

Lokis

2020-01-29 00:23:12

Chuck Norris is such a pussy, he has to hide behind john mccain.

ali

2020-01-28 17:46:47

the first giraffe was made wen chuck norris uppercut a horse chuck norris CAN delete the recycling bin according 2 einsteins theory of relativity chuck norris can roundhouse kick u yesterdai chuck norris was the first man on mars y do u think they cant find any signs of life

c

2020-01-28 14:34:48

badass

Blade

2020-01-23 02:15:09

Chuck Norris is so scary, he gives freddy krueger nightmares.

Lylla younes

2020-01-22 20:38:58

The largest export of Chuck Norris is pain.

GoingCOMMANDO

2020-01-22 16:55:02

jesus, chuck norris and a priest were in a boat jesus dared everybody to walk to walk to the island jesus hoped and walk to the island so did chuck norris but the priest hoped out and drowned jesus said we should of told him about steping stone chuck norris said what stepping stone

that1guyslainchucknorris

2020-01-21 19:34:43

Lately reports have been told about chuck norris getting into politics.
he will be our 45th president. There will be no 46th

that1guyhashotgf

2020-01-21 19:32:06

chuck norris lives in WEST dakota

that1guy

2020-01-21 19:30:28

one time a horse made chuck norris spill his ice cream cone. The unicorn was invented

That1guymitebeme

2020-01-21 19:29:02

chuck norris said 'rawr' and accidentaly invented the lion. now he has someone to watch over his forests for him

That1guyisnotme

2020-01-21 19:28:00

Chuck norris once went to the bathroom during biblical times. NOAH had to build an ARK

That1guyisme

2020-01-21 19:27:15

The people in haiti insulted chuck norris

?Kidd

2020-01-21 00:42:39

OJ didnt do it. Chuck Norris DID.

KaseyP

2020-01-17 13:17:00

Germex kills 99.9% of germs, Chuck norris kills 100% of whatever the fuck he wants

Thy Beast

2020-01-08 04:48:58

The Green Day song "21 guns is what Chuck Norris will use when he gets mad.

|\|()T |\/|E

2020-01-06 13:16:58

*chuck norris sleeps with a nightligt not because he is scarded of the dark but because the dark is scareded of chuck norris

*the earth was flat...but then chuck norris made it round

*if (key word IF) chuck norris was ever late time better slow down before chuck norris gets to it

*no one can divid by 0...chuck norris can

*chuck norris can do a wheelie while walking

*when chuck norris have's sex with a men it's not because he gay...it's because he run out of women

\,,/(>__

Winsor

2020-12-27 22:28:40

Good one....huh??
add me on facebook..
type in fred winsor

Winsor

2020-12-27 22:24:30

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his Gun...

Scarlet

2020-12-27 21:11:23

Not only can Chuck lead a horse to water...he can make it drink too...

Scarlet

2020-12-27 21:10:16

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles out of beef jerkey...

i leik chuck jokes

2020-12-27 08:24:01

Someone once googled "CHUCK NORRIS SUCKS!".He was found dead with a hole shaped like a boot in the back of his face(as we all know,only Chuck Norris can kick people in the back of their faces).

fucking hotties

2020-12-27 06:15:09

you a god damn fucking retard you bitch fuck. go suck you mother fucking mom's dick you bastard.

adam

2020-12-26 18:33:09

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww

njkklpk

2020-12-26 07:48:31

klouphyH/bhkfbkuyoo

Itsme

2020-12-25 18:18:08

This one is really stuipid.

Zane

2020-12-24 23:45:07

chuck norris can stare down his reflection.

Bill

2020-12-24 23:43:52

Chuck once met his match and then died because he is lame hahahaha.

Zane

2020-12-24 23:41:56

I like the condom one hahahahaha.

rookiepker4

2020-12-21 08:52:53

in the year 1969, when chuck norris was born, the death toll went up by over 300%. this puts an average of 1 vs 300. coincidential to the spartans??

rookiepker4

2020-12-21 08:49:49

*chuck norris can run around hte world and punch himself in the back of the head.
*chuck norris once got in a knife fight. the knife lost.
*if chuck norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
*mr. T makes warcraft look good. chuck norris makes warcraft...

rookiepker4

2020-12-21 08:43:08

*if the sun were to go out, chuck norris could save us with a fart and a matchstick.
*brokeback mountain is not only a movie; its also the name of the pile of dead ninja's in chuck norris' back yard.

rookiepker4

2020-12-21 08:38:02

once, a rattlesnake bit chuck norris in the leg. after 3 agonizing days of pain, the rattlesnake died.

Denny

2020-12-16 14:47:47

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep , he waits.

LMAO

2020-12-14 18:53:09

hahahahaha no protetection...codndom....get the connection!!!HAHAHAHA

11111

2020-12-11 18:17:31

If u misspell the name Chuck Norris, u will be dead before u even try to fix it..

killer

2020-12-05 14:41:35

hahaa thts the best 1

me

2020-11-23 14:47:06

holly fuck is awsome

Andrew

2020-11-23 14:40:49

haha this is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!

CN FTW

2020-11-21 10:02:43

Punk is not dead. Chuck Norris allowed it to live. Before last member of "Ramones" died by Chuck Norris' Roundhouse kick he wrote song "I wanna live".

Trevor

2020-11-20 19:52:22

Donald Trump once fired Chuck Norris, Donald Trump now has a combover.

Trevor

2020-11-20 19:46:06

the people in paranormal activity didn't call ghostbusters, they called Chuck Norris.

tyler hewit

2020-11-20 10:14:05

zack is scared

tyler hewit

2020-11-20 10:13:20

iam not scared of chuck!!!!

TYLER PEWITT

2020-11-20 10:09:34

it was funny he has no protection.

kevin

2020-11-18 19:26:12

hehe thats my favorite

15133

2020-11-14 19:38:02

When the Angel of Death was told he had to kill Chuck Norris, he called in sick.

15133

2020-11-14 19:34:29

When Chuck Norris says "jump" you say "how high"

15133

2020-11-14 19:33:24

Chuck Norris has no enemies. He used to, but not anymore.

15133

2020-11-14 19:32:35

Chuck Norris stared down a statue. Period.

15133

2020-11-14 19:32:04

Chuck Norris doesn't feel the cold. The cold Fells Chuck norris

15133

2020-11-14 19:31:38

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, it doesn't dare come back

15133

2020-11-14 19:31:14

Chuck Norris doesn't count the women he's slept with, he counts the women he hasn't slept with.

AG

2020-11-05 16:00:00

Chuck Norris is so tough, when someone tried to shoot him the bullet said oww

ezequiel

2020-11-04 13:24:34

chritopher columbus saw chuck norris walking on water holding a sign saying america this way

Chuck Norris

2020-11-02 17:57:18

i think im going to round house kick you for that any ways u do this

Chuck Norris

2020-11-02 12:14:39

Pray to me people with no lives, i have found my lock on, go through walls, auto head shot, multi kick shooter, and now you will worship me till my round house kick finds you!

ryan

2020-10-30 06:26:06

fukin funnie

coolio

2020-10-28 17:16:34

i once had a one night stand with chuck norris... it lasted a week

coolio

2020-10-28 17:14:46

i love chuck

coolio

2020-10-28 17:14:05

chucks the man

Chucks friend

2020-10-26 18:57:38

when god said let "there be light"
chuck norris said "say please"

Jack

2020-10-26 00:50:13

Omg that shits mad!
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land XD

Josh

2020-10-19 22:12:30

LOL (laugh out loud

THE CHUCK

2020-10-13 16:36:08

chuck norris once ate 3 72 oz steaks in an hour he spent to first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

THE CHUCK

2020-10-13 16:34:14

chuck norris once had sex in a tractor one of his sperm got under the engine this tractor is now known as optimus prime

potato

2020-10-12 22:00:45

Chuck Norris dosnt teabag he potato sacks!

Daniel

2020-10-12 15:35:57

Unless it's a cherry-flavored condom. They're the onyl thing more powerful than Jesus and Chuck pur together.

Jon

2020-09-30 07:00:32

"Theres no such thing as tornados....Chuck Norris just doesnt like trailer parks."

joelisa

2020-09-27 12:13:43

hhehehe i would know

Jon

2020-09-24 07:46:16

"Chuck Norris's tears have the power to cure cancer!"....."Too bad he never cries!"

Daltyn

2020-09-13 20:57:16

"chuck Norris found out how to make his penis 12 inches long ... By folding it in half

Fm

2020-09-11 16:15:44

when chuck norris does pull ups he doesn,t pull his body up, he pull the bars down

Nathan

2020-09-06 04:08:27

Do you know why Chuck Norris has a beard? They have not made anything sharp enough to cut his hair.

Mommy

2020-09-04 11:41:20

What about me. My pussy is so powerful i made chuck norris.

Elizabethh

2020-09-03 15:07:24

That is the best...ever. (:

: )

2020-08-31 21:16:24

lol

bob

2020-08-24 16:05:50

funny

DJ

2020-08-22 21:09:11

Chuck Norris does not fart the fart chuck norrises

Tito

2020-08-20 15:27:17

Yeah, When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000. from Tweetnorris

kaylen

2020-08-19 19:04:16

chuck norris is so rich he can afford to be poor.

alexis

2020-07-28 07:57:10

becouse he rock,s

Ben

2020-07-27 09:39:13

Chuck Norris is an asswhole! Because i said that my life expectancy is now 3 seco

karen

2020-07-22 19:35:41

chuck norris doesn't get fired he set you on fire

misael

2020-07-22 19:00:16

Chuck Norris doesnt get the red ring of death, the red ring of death gets Norris

danny

2020-07-20 21:56:19

chuck norris doesnt read books he stares them down til he gets the information he wants.

starr

2020-07-14 15:18:36

check out some more funny chuck norris jokes here
http://hubpages.com/hub/jokes-about-Chuck-Norris

tim

2020-07-08 18:58:59

Q:why didn't chuck norris cross the road?
A:because he pulled the road behind him.

Jada

2020-07-06 13:11:08

i don't get the joke?

stvyjy

2020-06-18 15:29:50

at birth, chuck norris is why babies cry

Colin

2020-05-25 10:18:09

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

Colin

2020-05-25 10:16:01

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay. It is because he has run out of women.

Jack

2020-05-23 00:24:30

Chuck Norris got an irection on Williem St, their were no survivors.

chuck himself

2020-05-19 17:17:24

The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris discovered the third dimension.

J

2020-04-09 23:49:25

My uncle once fought Chuck Norris when I was three...I miss him...

thing

2020-03-24 13:07:31

When Chuck Norris spits on the ground, the earth cracks. When he blows his nose, all within a mile in front of him are blown away.

dylan

2020-03-24 09:53:09

chuck norris can beat you in a game of connect four in three moves!!!!!!!!!

Katia

2020-03-15 15:43:29

haha!these jokes are so funny

Ruri

2020-03-13 19:48:01

What's the easiest way to a man's heart?

Chuck Norris' fist! XD

makrosoft

2020-03-13 10:09:07

When Chuck Norris walks, he doesn't move. The Earth moves.

matt

2020-03-03 17:38:10

i love your show im not allowed to tell my email

Halfrican

2020-03-02 21:47:52

The only person to ever beat Chuck Norris was Bruce Lee, and he died from the effort... There can be only one!!

zach Early

2020-02-13 08:51:02

some kids piss their names in snow chuck norris isses his name in concrete

RANDALL PINK

2020-01-06 13:52:58

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's actually pushing the earth down.

brent.t

2020-12-28 15:08:57

chuck norris made crop circle to tell corn to sit the fuck down.

brennan

2020-12-26 21:54:10

probably the funniest one in her!! rotflol!!

Chuck F'N Norris

2020-12-12 05:55:38

In the movie 300, King Leonidus yelled,"This is Sparta!!!." Chuck Norris laughed.

kim

2020-12-09 18:02:59

Chuck Norris is the best lover i ever had!

bob

2020-12-03 09:51:27

once chuck norris jumped in the oceon he didnt get wet the oceon got norrised.

cortinae

2020-12-02 18:02:41

ranger i love your shows so keep doing what you got to do

Lyssa

2020-11-25 06:06:53

Lol, I like this one. It is so funny. :]
Haha, I totally should send this to my friend. She'd get a kick out of it!

COLE

2020-10-20 07:42:46

THESE JOKES ARE STUPID

TOMBRINSON

2020-10-06 09:07:27

Chuck Norris is so fast, when he was out on his moring jog around the world, he hit himself in the back of the head.

iceman

2020-09-25 09:48:52

love it!

daddy

2020-09-15 15:42:56

that my boy

JJT

2020-08-17 01:06:08

Jesus can walk on water, chuck norris can swim on land

ashley

2020-07-22 07:39:07

dont laugh chuck norris isnt funny...he is behind you right now...with his fist clenched

tom

2020-07-20 16:12:29

com up with new jokes

Hotstuff

2020-05-29 10:27:30

that one is very funny

david

2020-04-30 18:25:35

you know that feeling that you get when you think someone is watching you in the dark well ....... do you know who it is that watches you... not the devil... not god ... not jesus ... but CHUCK NORRIS

david

2020-04-30 18:23:04

chuck Norris is the reason death is actually dead one look and BAM a roundhouse kick to the face and death

david

2020-04-30 18:18:37

hey Craig why didnt the chicken cross the road ...... because chuck norris was there

Ironman

2020-04-30 17:00:32

Thats funny, but that Titanic stuff is bullshit Chuck was just doing a back stroke when the Titanic ran into him.

jose

2020-04-22 17:49:00

Superman only has 2 fears kriptonite and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris

brittany

2020-04-10 07:08:43

FUNNY!!!!

NICICICICI

2020-04-08 11:08:06

you know how jesus walked on water.....well chuck norris can walk on jesus

Tjh

2020-03-31 15:09:16

under chuck norris' beard, theres just anouther fist

xpop

2020-03-31 10:36:20

ewww!

chuck is sweet

2020-03-30 15:40:08

chuck can ligh an ant on fire with a magnifing, glass at night.

chuck011

2020-03-30 15:37:24

chuck is awsome!

Herbert the Pervert

2020-03-13 18:35:09

I xperienced it 1st hand

Homer

2020-03-10 08:52:30

Chuck Norris

Logan

2020-03-07 12:13:48

best joke ever hahahahahahahahahahah

raychelle

2020-02-27 14:36:06

thats nice what does he use instead

cody sabin

2020-01-22 10:47:16

thats fuckin funny

sheila

2020-01-20 07:38:42

chuck Norris is the man, since the "Duke" is no longer alive...

Hitman

2020-01-03 04:59:50

lol- look at this:

( . ) Y ( . )

BOOBZ!

Rickaaaaay

2020-10-15 15:10:52

"who?" is the most retarded person ever!!..... this joke is the top vote getter and he doesnt get it!@

who?

2020-04-06 10:27:25

...............I dont get it for fuck sake!
;(