Chuck Norris Joke #402
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Comments:
Lord
2010-08-31 12:15:56
Chuck Norris complain when he shoot the movie with Bruce lee back in da 70s stating that he would have won if it wasn't a Movie I would have won and keep on sulking about till today. Sometimes he sneaks out at night standing on Bruce's grave and do kung fu alone...
chris
2010-08-21 23:07:35
Chuck Norris is the first man who walked on Mars.. And it became a lifeless planet..
yo momma
2010-08-21 18:10:00
chuck norris went to virgina when he left it was jut called "a"
chuckkiksass
2010-07-26 20:46:08
chuck norris speaks spanish in german
joe
2010-07-18 11:54:14
In the 70's Chuck Norris's mullet caught 'JAWS' and strangled the beast.
VVV
2010-07-15 19:16:07
GOD
Klacker lOl
2010-07-01 22:42:37
chuck norris once went to clown college... there is nothing funny about that school anymore
Klacker lOl
2010-07-01 22:41:44
Physiciatrists vent to chuck norris about their problems
rose
2010-06-28 12:55:18
LMAO!! omg this one was so dame funny.i showed my boyfriend and he nearly had a heart attack laughing!!
jake
2010-06-21 14:50:40
since you love chuck norris..
Jim
2010-06-14 05:40:20
Chuck Norris doesnt turn on the light. He shuts off the dark
Jim
2010-06-14 05:39:02
The tides are not caused by the moon. It is actually the oceans shrinking away from Chuck Norris
Jim
2010-06-14 05:37:43
Chuck Norris gargles with peanut butter
Kujo
2010-05-30 06:02:20
The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' way of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out
Joe Murphy
2010-05-30 06:00:41
The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' was of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out
Joe Murphy
2010-05-30 05:48:38
The Three Wise men once picked a fight with Chuck Norris.... They're now known as the Three Stooges
Klacker lOl
2010-05-26 18:17:12
not to be jaytagging the last guy, but your kinda right babalaba. if ya gonna badmouth people on the same website your on, make sure you dont make a fool of yourself aswell...
Klacker lOl
2010-05-26 18:13:54
Only chuck norris can prevent wild fires
@ Babalaba
2010-05-19 21:09:42
You don't even know how to write properly, or spell correctly and you're telling people to get a life? Get an education then, MAYBE people will actually value your opinion.
ggg
2010-04-14 10:21:57
good
Snarky Theman
2010-03-28 09:40:26
so true
babalaba
2010-03-25 09:03:44
steups!....... ppl cum nah man!.... like allyuh hav nothin better 2 do wit allyuh life dred1 dis joke is ike d lamest i hav ever cum across!...... gosh!!!!!... when allyuh get some better jokes call me k!!!!1 till then bye and cun up with better jokes than dat1 allyuh killin me with dem jokes1 AND by the way chuck norriss is a fagit!!!!! duhhhhh who doesn't know that!!!!........ clearly u don't lol!!!!!!!!
Chase
2010-03-23 18:05:28
Awsome
Snoopdog47
2010-03-16 07:11:50
These jokes are really getting stupid and fucked up they don't even make me smile not one little bit.
shaden
2010-03-10 19:04:51
the swine flu gets vaccinated for chuck norris
Halpin 5
2010-03-07 03:30:04
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary with a Guitar Hero controller
deuce
2010-02-27 21:57:12
meteorites didn't kill dinosaurs chuck Norris did
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:54:29
i only fear myself.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:48:54
i roundhouse kicked pluto so hard thats why its to small to be a planet.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:47:47
my version of cheerios are nuts bolts and diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:44:19
I Gave The Joker His Smile.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:43:17
I once Roundhouse Kicked The Joker/ Heath Ledger in the face so hard when he said "WHY SO SERIOUS" he commited scuicide with his knife.
joe bob
2010-02-25 08:23:35
the grass is usualy greener on the other side unless Chuck Norris has been there, then it's usualy stained with blood and tears
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:25:08
Chuck Norris bought 'Windows 7' from the Apple Store
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:24:48
Chuck Norris winks just once a year!
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:24:18
It takes 5 years to reach Pandora but Chuck Norris can do it in 5 seconds.
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:23:22
When Chuck Norris walks in with a lion, people go - Jesus Christ its Chuck Norris.
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:22:50
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a tree.
???
2010-01-30 15:34:34
lol
demax182
2010-01-17 19:58:23
Chuck Norris uses Microsoft Windows on his Macintosh.
aaron
2009-12-22 15:15:43
this joke is so funny i laughed my balls off
Lord Raven
2009-12-21 08:53:30
on the day Chuck Norris was born Ares hung himself out of shear terror, unfortunately Hadies refused to let him in becuase no one dies without the concent of Chuck Norris.
Lord Raven
2009-12-21 08:46:36
Super man can stop a bullet, but Chuck Norris makes bullets trun around and hit the person with the gun for being to stupid to shoot at Chuck Norris.
john mitchell
2009-12-02 11:15:48
chuck norris dosent break wind(fart)he destroys it
robbie
2009-10-20 13:20:45
chuck norris's tears cure cancer...too bad he's never cried...
Brock mcDonald
2009-10-20 10:12:26
Amazing joke lol
keck
2009-05-30 01:01:24
chuck norris and jesus were twins but god killed jesus on the cross because chuck was his favorite
keck
2009-05-30 00:53:52
the only time mr. coolade said oh no is when he jumped though chuck norres wall
Lawl
2009-03-01 13:47:05
The boogy man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
lol
2008-08-18 08:15:22
Chuck kicks ass!
nicole
2008-05-05 12:45:49
there jokes are good
mikey
2008-04-23 10:22:57
chuck norris doesn't have pubes.
pubes cant grow on steel
anony moose
2008-01-09 02:07:19
LOL
mitch
2007-11-20 03:08:02
chuck norris sleeps with a night-light on.
not because hes afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
banana slug
2007-08-09 12:04:15
that's not really Mrs. Norris just some fat person in Kansas
-banana slug
Mrs. Norris
2007-07-23 18:32:56
Chuck Norris did the bloody mary ritual and came out of HER mirror.
jake
2007-03-11 20:51:31
slim 18m in ohio
tony
2007-03-08 16:11:24
haha, good one