Chuck Norris Jokes > Chuck Joke 402

Chuck Norris Joke #402

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.




2013-01-19 12:11:40

Chuck Norris knows the last five digits of your PIN number.


2012-12-15 13:18:23

chuck Norris got bitten by a zombie, and the zombie turd human.


2012-12-15 13:15:00

chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding


2012-12-15 13:12:38

chuck Norris nose who let the dogs out

Robert Flores

2012-08-25 09:52:43

Chuck Norris is not in a gang, he is a gang!


2012-06-28 09:27:16

Kikikikiki love dat

hater of the people who diss chuck

2012-04-23 17:46:10

Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!

hater of the people who diss chuck

2012-04-23 17:46:08

Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!


2012-03-12 10:10:45



2012-03-12 10:10:44



2012-02-23 13:15:38

I am soooo going to laugh when he does have a heart attack

Nikos Greece

2012-02-16 11:42:58

there are no masive distruction guns in Irak. Chuk Norris lives in Oclahoma


2012-02-09 13:30:21

when a zombie bites chuck norris, the zombie BECOMES Chuck Norris


2012-01-11 23:01:16

Cool hahahaha


2012-01-07 20:22:17

Cookie what kind of name is that?


2012-01-07 20:15:28

silence........................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .... I KILL YOU!


2011-12-25 21:10:21

Ooohhh... Because chuck Norris afraid to use his hand on his sensitive spots...


2011-12-25 21:05:45

Chuck norris scratch his itchy ass with a toothbrush...


2011-12-22 01:37:45

fake! chuck norris doesn't have ONE heart, he has OVER 9000 hearts!


2011-12-22 01:37:21

fake! chuck norris doesn't have ONE heart, he has OVER 9000 hearts!


2011-12-19 17:53:58

GUns carry CHuck norris for protection


2011-12-08 11:43:58



2011-12-08 11:43:57


your mom

2011-12-02 19:31:47

thats effin funny

some dude (>")>

2011-11-28 18:39:25

tha is the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got some good ones but not as good as that!!!!!
chuck norris dosent go swimming water just wants to be around him! :


2011-11-12 10:27:00

Chuck Norris doesn't wear sun glasses. The sun wears Chuck Norris.


2011-11-06 08:02:39

hahahahahahahahahaha, good one. I love Chuck Norris, and I love Chuck Norris jokes :D


2011-10-19 20:51:47

when the boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks the closet for chuck noris


2011-10-19 20:49:52

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”


2011-09-29 14:09:54



2011-08-30 16:49:41

chuck norris once fell off a waterfall and killed the water


2011-08-21 19:58:34

Chuck Norris's mom walked in on him masterbating, he looked her straight in the eye and finished.


2011-08-18 12:39:07

Chuck said what do you have there the guy says nothing well if it is nothing you wouldn't mind if I roundhouse kick it.he fell said please please don,t sand chuck said no thanks and then everything exploded but chuck and the cockroaches and chuck laughs wow it was a bombard the coal riches became deaf


2011-07-14 15:28:40

Hello World


2011-06-13 17:35:02

Chuck Norris didn't cheat death. He won fair and square.


2011-06-13 17:30:09

Chuck Norris had a heart attack,
His heart lost


2011-06-07 19:58:01

Rolling on floor laughing my ass off because CHUCK NORRIS is so beastie, nobody lives through anything ha ha!!!!!!


2011-06-07 19:54:58



2011-06-07 19:51:23

Hahaha funny bunnt jokey


2011-05-05 03:19:59

haha the best


2011-05-02 16:00:24



2011-05-01 09:02:39

this is a good one


2011-03-28 15:10:03

i dont under stand most of the jokes


2011-03-18 06:33:12

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the shower when he takes one . . . he just stares at the shower head until it cries.


2011-03-10 20:44:57

chuck norris closed a revarving door


2011-02-27 09:51:52

Chuck Norris is da best


2011-02-15 14:52:16

Plz laugh at this joke. LOL


2011-02-03 18:05:01

If you say that again, you will be kicked by Chuck


2011-01-15 21:24:55

Chuck Norris dosen't peal bananas, bananaa peal Chck Norris


2011-01-15 21:22:30

Chuck Norris dosen't higher a hit man a hit man highers Chuck Norris


2011-01-15 21:20:04

When Chuck Norris went uranus it became hisanus


2011-01-15 21:17:07

When Chuck Norris farts he farts oxygen


2011-01-15 12:32:20

omg its so true.i can only imagine what could happen to that poor heart!

noah parker

2011-01-11 11:33:27

its so funny

Chuck Norris

2011-01-05 11:55:36

@Kate you better like my jokes bitch!!


2011-01-04 14:31:25

this is one of ma favorites!!!

Amanda Morgan

2011-01-03 13:43:07

Hey, I don't know if you know who Chuck Norris is but I thought you might like this :)


2010-12-29 20:06:53

Hahahahaah lol I love y chuch noris I love ur jokes


2010-12-23 10:40:54

Every time you masturbate, Chuck Norris kills an emo kid.
...Let Chuck handle it.


2010-11-24 15:44:22



2010-11-23 00:00:23

one for u friendship


2010-11-22 11:36:45

that was funny

Chuck Norris

2010-11-20 19:19:29

If you think these are funny, you're wrong there facts about my life.

Chuck Norris

2010-11-20 19:19:12

If you think these are funny, you're wrong there facts about my life.

neck tie

2010-11-17 11:37:51

chuck norris jokes all the time lol


2010-11-15 12:34:49

OMG i did not know chuck was a funny guy, wow


2010-11-15 12:34:27

OMG i did not know chuck was a funny guy, wow


2010-10-21 13:19:26

ok i don really like chuck norris or jokes about him (no don go all racist crap on me!!)
but this was kinda funny lol ;)


2010-10-16 10:56:15

omfg lol

ItS GeRaLd NinGa!

2010-09-21 14:05:58

I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol

ItS GeRaLd NinGa!

2010-09-21 14:05:58

I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol

ItS GeRaLd NinGa!

2010-09-21 14:05:12

I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol

ItS GeRaLd NinGa!

2010-09-21 14:04:44

I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol

hotrod 432

2010-09-18 14:50:05

ninja i totaly agree

hotrod 432

2010-09-18 14:48:31

that is such a chessy joke

vanilla guerilla

2010-09-14 00:00:22

Kak funny man,,was in tears

The Kool-Aid Man

2010-09-12 00:23:14

Babalaba you are STUPIDDDDDDDD !


2010-09-09 07:18:55

that's the funnest
Chuck Norris joke i heard!!!!!!!!!!!


2010-08-31 12:15:56

Chuck Norris complain when he shoot the movie with Bruce lee back in da 70s stating that he would have won if it wasn't a Movie I would have won and keep on sulking about till today. Sometimes he sneaks out at night standing on Bruce's grave and do kung fu alone...


2010-08-21 23:07:35

Chuck Norris is the first man who walked on Mars.. And it became a lifeless planet..

yo momma

2010-08-21 18:10:00

chuck norris went to virgina when he left it was jut called "a"


2010-07-26 20:46:08

chuck norris speaks spanish in german


2010-07-18 11:54:14

In the 70's Chuck Norris's mullet caught 'JAWS' and strangled the beast.


2010-07-15 19:16:07


Klacker lOl

2010-07-01 22:42:37

chuck norris once went to clown college... there is nothing funny about that school anymore

Klacker lOl

2010-07-01 22:41:44

Physiciatrists vent to chuck norris about their problems


2010-06-28 12:55:18

LMAO!! omg this one was so dame funny.i showed my boyfriend and he nearly had a heart attack laughing!!


2010-06-21 14:50:40

since you love chuck norris..


2010-06-14 05:40:20

Chuck Norris doesnt turn on the light. He shuts off the dark


2010-06-14 05:39:02

The tides are not caused by the moon. It is actually the oceans shrinking away from Chuck Norris


2010-06-14 05:37:43

Chuck Norris gargles with peanut butter


2010-05-30 06:02:20

The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' way of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out

Joe Murphy

2010-05-30 06:00:41

The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' was of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out

Joe Murphy

2010-05-30 05:48:38

The Three Wise men once picked a fight with Chuck Norris.... They're now known as the Three Stooges

Klacker lOl

2010-05-26 18:17:12

not to be jaytagging the last guy, but your kinda right babalaba. if ya gonna badmouth people on the same website your on, make sure you dont make a fool of yourself aswell...

Klacker lOl

2010-05-26 18:13:54

Only chuck norris can prevent wild fires

@ Babalaba

2010-05-19 21:09:42

You don't even know how to write properly, or spell correctly and you're telling people to get a life? Get an education then, MAYBE people will actually value your opinion.


2010-04-14 10:21:57


Snarky Theman

2010-03-28 09:40:26

so true


2010-03-23 18:05:28



2010-03-16 07:11:50

These jokes are really getting stupid and fucked up they don't even make me smile not one little bit.


2010-03-10 19:04:51

the swine flu gets vaccinated for chuck norris

Halpin 5

2010-03-07 03:30:04

Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary with a Guitar Hero controller


2010-02-27 21:57:12

meteorites didn't kill dinosaurs chuck Norris did

Chuck Norris

2010-02-26 19:54:29

i only fear myself.

Chuck Norris

2010-02-26 19:48:54

i roundhouse kicked pluto so hard thats why its to small to be a planet.

Chuck Norris

2010-02-26 19:47:47

my version of cheerios are nuts bolts and diesel fuel.

Chuck Norris

2010-02-26 19:44:19

I Gave The Joker His Smile.

Chuck Norris

2010-02-26 19:43:17

I once Roundhouse Kicked The Joker/ Heath Ledger in the face so hard when he said "WHY SO SERIOUS" he commited scuicide with his knife.

joe bob

2010-02-25 08:23:35

the grass is usualy greener on the other side unless Chuck Norris has been there, then it's usualy stained with blood and tears

Aniket Kapse

2010-02-14 10:25:08

Chuck Norris bought 'Windows 7' from the Apple Store

Aniket Kapse

2010-02-14 10:24:48

Chuck Norris winks just once a year!

Aniket Kapse

2010-02-14 10:24:18

It takes 5 years to reach Pandora but Chuck Norris can do it in 5 seconds.

Aniket Kapse

2010-02-14 10:23:22

When Chuck Norris walks in with a lion, people go - Jesus Christ its Chuck Norris.

Aniket Kapse

2010-02-14 10:22:50

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a tree.


2010-01-30 15:34:34



2010-01-17 19:58:23

Chuck Norris uses Microsoft Windows on his Macintosh.


2009-12-22 15:15:43

this joke is so funny i laughed my balls off

Lord Raven

2009-12-21 08:53:30

on the day Chuck Norris was born Ares hung himself out of shear terror, unfortunately Hadies refused to let him in becuase no one dies without the concent of Chuck Norris.

Lord Raven

2009-12-21 08:46:36

Super man can stop a bullet, but Chuck Norris makes bullets trun around and hit the person with the gun for being to stupid to shoot at Chuck Norris.

john mitchell

2009-12-02 11:15:48

chuck norris dosent break wind(fart)he destroys it


2009-10-20 13:20:45

chuck norris's tears cure cancer...too bad he's never cried...

Brock mcDonald

2009-10-20 10:12:26

Amazing joke lol


2009-05-30 01:01:24

chuck norris and jesus were twins but god killed jesus on the cross because chuck was his favorite


2009-05-30 00:53:52

the only time mr. coolade said oh no is when he jumped though chuck norres wall


2009-03-01 13:47:05

The boogy man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris


2008-08-18 08:15:22

Chuck kicks ass!


2008-05-05 12:45:49

there jokes are good


2008-04-23 10:22:57

chuck norris doesn't have pubes.
pubes cant grow on steel

anony moose

2008-01-09 02:07:19



2007-11-20 03:08:02

chuck norris sleeps with a night-light on.
not because hes afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris.

banana slug

2007-08-09 12:04:15

that's not really Mrs. Norris just some fat person in Kansas

-banana slug

Mrs. Norris

2007-07-23 18:32:56

Chuck Norris did the bloody mary ritual and came out of HER mirror.


2007-03-11 20:51:31

slim 18m in ohio


2007-03-08 16:11:24

haha, good one