Chuck Norris Joke #402
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Comments:
Bén
2013-01-19 12:11:40
Chuck Norris knows the last five digits of your PIN number.
zadd
2012-12-15 13:18:23
chuck Norris got bitten by a zombie, and the zombie turd human.
zadd
2012-12-15 13:15:00
chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
zadd
2012-12-15 13:12:38
chuck Norris nose who let the dogs out
Robert Flores
2012-08-25 09:52:43
Chuck Norris is not in a gang, he is a gang!
Angel
2012-06-28 09:27:16
Kikikikiki love dat
hater of the people who diss chuck
2012-04-23 17:46:10
Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!
hater of the people who diss chuck
2012-04-23 17:46:08
Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!
same
2012-03-12 10:10:45
hyehehe
same
2012-03-12 10:10:44
hyehehe
kirsten
2012-02-23 13:15:38
I am soooo going to laugh when he does have a heart attack
Nikos Greece
2012-02-16 11:42:58
there are no masive distruction guns in Irak. Chuk Norris lives in Oclahoma
cole
2012-02-09 13:30:21
when a zombie bites chuck norris, the zombie BECOMES Chuck Norris
Dbillz02
2012-01-11 23:01:16
Cool hahahaha
lexy
2012-01-07 20:22:17
Cookie what kind of name is that?
lexy
2012-01-07 20:15:28
silence........................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .... I KILL YOU!
Cookie
2011-12-25 21:10:21
Ooohhh... Because chuck Norris afraid to use his hand on his sensitive spots...
Cookie
2011-12-25 21:05:45
Chuck norris scratch his itchy ass with a toothbrush...
dadada
2011-12-22 01:37:45
fake! chuck norris doesn't have ONE heart, he has OVER 9000 hearts!
dadada
2011-12-22 01:37:21
fake! chuck norris doesn't have ONE heart, he has OVER 9000 hearts!
joshua
2011-12-19 17:53:58
GUns carry CHuck norris for protection
kolby
2011-12-08 11:43:58
funny
kolby
2011-12-08 11:43:57
funny
your mom
2011-12-02 19:31:47
thats effin funny
some dude (>")>
2011-11-28 18:39:25
tha is the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got some good ones but not as good as that!!!!!
chuck norris dosent go swimming water just wants to be around him! :
nick
2011-11-12 10:27:00
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sun glasses. The sun wears Chuck Norris.
John
2011-11-06 08:02:39
hahahahahahahahahaha, good one. I love Chuck Norris, and I love Chuck Norris jokes :D
LeAnna
2011-10-19 20:51:47
when the boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks the closet for chuck noris
LeAnna
2011-10-19 20:49:52
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”
name
2011-09-29 14:09:54
rotflol
steve
2011-08-30 16:49:41
chuck norris once fell off a waterfall and killed the water
Zach
2011-08-21 19:58:34
Chuck Norris's mom walked in on him masterbating, he looked her straight in the eye and finished.
Ahilan
2011-08-18 12:39:07
Chuck said what do you have there the guy says nothing well if it is nothing you wouldn't mind if I roundhouse kick it.he fell said please please don,t sand chuck said no thanks and then everything exploded but chuck and the cockroaches and chuck laughs wow it was a bombard the coal riches became deaf
John8212
2011-07-14 15:28:40
Hello World
tom
2011-06-13 17:35:02
Chuck Norris didn't cheat death. He won fair and square.
tom
2011-06-13 17:30:09
Chuck Norris had a heart attack,
His heart lost
Papapapa
2011-06-07 19:58:01
Rolling on floor laughing my ass off because CHUCK NORRIS is so beastie, nobody lives through anything ha ha!!!!!!
Papapapa
2011-06-07 19:54:58
Roflmaobcnisbnltahh
Papapapa
2011-06-07 19:51:23
Hahaha funny bunnt jokey
superman
2011-05-05 03:19:59
haha the best
Alyssa
2011-05-02 16:00:24
Lolz
me
2011-05-01 09:02:39
this is a good one
anusha
2011-03-28 15:10:03
i dont under stand most of the jokes
will
2011-03-18 06:33:12
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the shower when he takes one . . . he just stares at the shower head until it cries.
jerry
2011-03-10 20:44:57
chuck norris closed a revarving door
Kailynn
2011-02-27 09:51:52
Chuck Norris is da best
Arfah
2011-02-15 14:52:16
Plz laugh at this joke. LOL
HubuHaba
2011-02-03 18:05:01
If you say that again, you will be kicked by Chuck
Leeann
2011-01-15 21:24:55
Chuck Norris dosen't peal bananas, bananaa peal Chck Norris
Violet
2011-01-15 21:22:30
Chuck Norris dosen't higher a hit man a hit man highers Chuck Norris
Violet
2011-01-15 21:20:04
When Chuck Norris went uranus it became hisanus
Violet
2011-01-15 21:17:07
When Chuck Norris farts he farts oxygen
fan2g
2011-01-15 12:32:20
omg its so true.i can only imagine what could happen to that poor heart!
noah parker
2011-01-11 11:33:27
its so funny
Chuck Norris
2011-01-05 11:55:36
@Kate you better like my jokes bitch!!
yoyo
2011-01-04 14:31:25
this is one of ma favorites!!!
Amanda Morgan
2011-01-03 13:43:07
Hey, I don't know if you know who Chuck Norris is but I thought you might like this :)
Kate
2010-12-29 20:06:53
Hahahahaah lol I love y chuch noris I love ur jokes
Spade
2010-12-23 10:40:54
Every time you masturbate, Chuck Norris kills an emo kid.
...Let Chuck handle it.
Cullen
2010-11-24 15:44:22
hahahahahahahahaha
lynny
2010-11-23 00:00:23
one for u friendship
jorge
2010-11-22 11:36:45
that was funny
Chuck Norris
2010-11-20 19:19:29
If you think these are funny, you're wrong there facts about my life.
Chuck Norris
2010-11-20 19:19:12
If you think these are funny, you're wrong there facts about my life.
neck tie
2010-11-17 11:37:51
chuck norris jokes all the time lol
Alfred
2010-11-15 12:34:49
OMG i did not know chuck was a funny guy, wow
Alfred
2010-11-15 12:34:27
OMG i did not know chuck was a funny guy, wow
rose
2010-10-21 13:19:26
ok i don really like chuck norris or jokes about him (no don go all racist crap on me!!)
but this was kinda funny lol ;)
bessie
2010-10-16 10:56:15
omfg lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2010-09-21 14:05:58
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2010-09-21 14:05:58
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2010-09-21 14:05:12
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2010-09-21 14:04:44
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
hotrod 432
2010-09-18 14:50:05
ninja i totaly agree
hotrod 432
2010-09-18 14:48:31
that is such a chessy joke
vanilla guerilla
2010-09-14 00:00:22
Kak funny man,,was in tears
The Kool-Aid Man
2010-09-12 00:23:14
Babalaba you are STUPIDDDDDDDD !
ninaj10
2010-09-09 07:18:55
that's the funnest
Chuck Norris joke i heard!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord
2010-08-31 12:15:56
Chuck Norris complain when he shoot the movie with Bruce lee back in da 70s stating that he would have won if it wasn't a Movie I would have won and keep on sulking about till today. Sometimes he sneaks out at night standing on Bruce's grave and do kung fu alone...
chris
2010-08-21 23:07:35
Chuck Norris is the first man who walked on Mars.. And it became a lifeless planet..
yo momma
2010-08-21 18:10:00
chuck norris went to virgina when he left it was jut called "a"
chuckkiksass
2010-07-26 20:46:08
chuck norris speaks spanish in german
joe
2010-07-18 11:54:14
In the 70's Chuck Norris's mullet caught 'JAWS' and strangled the beast.
VVV
2010-07-15 19:16:07
GOD
Klacker lOl
2010-07-01 22:42:37
chuck norris once went to clown college... there is nothing funny about that school anymore
Klacker lOl
2010-07-01 22:41:44
Physiciatrists vent to chuck norris about their problems
rose
2010-06-28 12:55:18
LMAO!! omg this one was so dame funny.i showed my boyfriend and he nearly had a heart attack laughing!!
jake
2010-06-21 14:50:40
since you love chuck norris..
Jim
2010-06-14 05:40:20
Chuck Norris doesnt turn on the light. He shuts off the dark
Jim
2010-06-14 05:39:02
The tides are not caused by the moon. It is actually the oceans shrinking away from Chuck Norris
Jim
2010-06-14 05:37:43
Chuck Norris gargles with peanut butter
Kujo
2010-05-30 06:02:20
The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' way of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out
Joe Murphy
2010-05-30 06:00:41
The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' was of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out
Joe Murphy
2010-05-30 05:48:38
The Three Wise men once picked a fight with Chuck Norris.... They're now known as the Three Stooges
Klacker lOl
2010-05-26 18:17:12
not to be jaytagging the last guy, but your kinda right babalaba. if ya gonna badmouth people on the same website your on, make sure you dont make a fool of yourself aswell...
Klacker lOl
2010-05-26 18:13:54
Only chuck norris can prevent wild fires
@ Babalaba
2010-05-19 21:09:42
You don't even know how to write properly, or spell correctly and you're telling people to get a life? Get an education then, MAYBE people will actually value your opinion.
ggg
2010-04-14 10:21:57
good
Snarky Theman
2010-03-28 09:40:26
so true
Chase
2010-03-23 18:05:28
Awsome
Snoopdog47
2010-03-16 07:11:50
These jokes are really getting stupid and fucked up they don't even make me smile not one little bit.
shaden
2010-03-10 19:04:51
the swine flu gets vaccinated for chuck norris
Halpin 5
2010-03-07 03:30:04
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary with a Guitar Hero controller
deuce
2010-02-27 21:57:12
meteorites didn't kill dinosaurs chuck Norris did
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:54:29
i only fear myself.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:48:54
i roundhouse kicked pluto so hard thats why its to small to be a planet.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:47:47
my version of cheerios are nuts bolts and diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:44:19
I Gave The Joker His Smile.
Chuck Norris
2010-02-26 19:43:17
I once Roundhouse Kicked The Joker/ Heath Ledger in the face so hard when he said "WHY SO SERIOUS" he commited scuicide with his knife.
joe bob
2010-02-25 08:23:35
the grass is usualy greener on the other side unless Chuck Norris has been there, then it's usualy stained with blood and tears
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:25:08
Chuck Norris bought 'Windows 7' from the Apple Store
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:24:48
Chuck Norris winks just once a year!
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:24:18
It takes 5 years to reach Pandora but Chuck Norris can do it in 5 seconds.
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:23:22
When Chuck Norris walks in with a lion, people go - Jesus Christ its Chuck Norris.
Aniket Kapse
2010-02-14 10:22:50
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a tree.
???
2010-01-30 15:34:34
lol
demax182
2010-01-17 19:58:23
Chuck Norris uses Microsoft Windows on his Macintosh.
aaron
2009-12-22 15:15:43
this joke is so funny i laughed my balls off
Lord Raven
2009-12-21 08:53:30
on the day Chuck Norris was born Ares hung himself out of shear terror, unfortunately Hadies refused to let him in becuase no one dies without the concent of Chuck Norris.
Lord Raven
2009-12-21 08:46:36
Super man can stop a bullet, but Chuck Norris makes bullets trun around and hit the person with the gun for being to stupid to shoot at Chuck Norris.
john mitchell
2009-12-02 11:15:48
chuck norris dosent break wind(fart)he destroys it
robbie
2009-10-20 13:20:45
chuck norris's tears cure cancer...too bad he's never cried...
Brock mcDonald
2009-10-20 10:12:26
Amazing joke lol
keck
2009-05-30 01:01:24
chuck norris and jesus were twins but god killed jesus on the cross because chuck was his favorite
keck
2009-05-30 00:53:52
the only time mr. coolade said oh no is when he jumped though chuck norres wall
Lawl
2009-03-01 13:47:05
The boogy man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
lol
2008-08-18 08:15:22
Chuck kicks ass!
nicole
2008-05-05 12:45:49
there jokes are good
mikey
2008-04-23 10:22:57
chuck norris doesn't have pubes.
pubes cant grow on steel
anony moose
2008-01-09 02:07:19
LOL
mitch
2007-11-20 03:08:02
chuck norris sleeps with a night-light on.
not because hes afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
banana slug
2007-08-09 12:04:15
that's not really Mrs. Norris just some fat person in Kansas
-banana slug
Mrs. Norris
2007-07-23 18:32:56
Chuck Norris did the bloody mary ritual and came out of HER mirror.
jake
2007-03-11 20:51:31
slim 18m in ohio
tony
2007-03-08 16:11:24
haha, good one