Chuck Norris Jokes > Chuck Joke 36

Chuck Norris Joke #36

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Funny :) Not Funny :(

Comments:

upchuck

2013-02-27 05:25:15

landslides are just Chuck Norris trying to get the hang of using a shovel.

DMTR

2012-07-11 05:54:07

How black holes die? They fall into Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris

2012-05-02 09:07:48

awesomness vin i am going to kill you

awesomness vin

2012-02-23 18:11:01

You're a fucking idiot and FUCK CHUCK NORRIS, come down it's a funny site but you guys are too serious

Jessica Danielle Parker

2011-09-25 03:07:09

Hahahahahahahahah, Rocket. I adore that joke about spoofing the spoof about the revolving door. I love the rest, too, except the one about being aroused (I don't get it...) and the one about lead isn't funny and also the one about losing hair/gaining head. Hahahahahahaha, Kasey--Chuck's pet rock...Earth. I adore the cordless phone one!! kkkk, you're funny, too. I find the comments are usually more funny than the actual joke!

kkkk

2011-08-01 19:28:59

chuck norris doesnt swim water likes to hang around him

Rocket

2011-06-29 19:42:45

You hate the idea of anyone banging your sister... anyone except Chuck Norris.

Nevermind a revolving door...Chuck Norris can slam a tent flap.

Rocket

2011-06-29 19:39:50

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Ghosts sit around camp fires and tell Chuck Noris stories.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the jaw of a horse... whose decendents eventually became known as girafes.

When Chuck Norris gets aroused, you get light headed.

When asked, "what do want to accomplish in life?", Chuck Norris stared the questioner in the face for 2 seconds, applied a roundhouse kick to the face, killing the offender, and replied, "yes."

Rocket

2011-06-29 19:29:01

A pound of lead weighs less than a pound of Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris calls a "555" phone number, somebody answers the damn phone!

Some kids piss their name in the snow... Chuck Norris does this in marble

Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick a woman in the balls.

Chuck Norris can not loose his hair... he can only gain head.

anonymous

2011-05-20 06:56:08

Chuck Norris isn't powerful. He's god-like

i farted

2011-05-18 13:19:19

while many slaves built one pyramid in manys of years, chuck norris laughed and built the other one by himself in 24 hours

chuck norris

2011-05-18 13:12:18

jesus died cause of chuck norris

N8

2011-03-05 01:38:06

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors..... Nuff said

Billy dee

2011-02-14 19:04:47

Chuck Norris fired Donald Trump

anonymous

2011-02-14 13:23:30

Bill Gates lives in perpetual fear that Chuck Norris's computer will crash and show the blue screen of death.

anonymous

2011-02-14 13:21:40

contrary to popular belief, the porn industry was first created as a way to appease the wrath of Chuck Norris

anonymous

2011-02-14 13:17:15

In all human history, Chuck Norris has farted twice. We know these catastrophic incidents as Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

anonymous

2011-02-14 13:15:45

In the beginning, God said "Let there be light!", to which Chuck Norris replied, "Say Please."

anonymous

2011-02-14 13:13:01

There is no theory of evolution. There is only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allows to live.

Kasey

2011-01-17 10:07:23

There used to be a street named chuck noris but they had to change the name because no one crosses chuck noris and lives

Chuck norris doesn't do push ups. The ground does chuck Norris

Chuck Norris died twenty years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet

Chuck Norris doesnt pay attention- attention pays him

Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth"

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to wear their underware outside of their pants.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone

Chuck Norris doesn't fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was in all six star wars movies... As the force

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

Brendan

2010-12-24 19:28:29

When Chuck gave someone a high five, there hand broke

Brendan (a.k.a. anonnymous)

2010-12-24 19:27:00

When Chuck Norris was born the doctor cried

Anonnymous

2010-12-24 19:25:12

When Cuck tried to do pull-ups, the bar broke

Annonymous

2010-12-24 19:23:46

When Chuck Norris went on a roller coaster, the the roller coaster screams!

Annonymous

2010-12-24 19:21:13

Chuck Norris doesn`t battle, heallows you to lose.

random kid 2

2010-09-15 21:27:20

there no chin behind chuck norris's beard...there's only a fist

random

2010-09-15 21:23:15

when chuck norris does a push up he dosn't push himself up...he pushes the world down

Kayla

2010-09-02 19:25:49

lol that is so funny my bro knows a bunch more

megan

2010-06-19 12:41:45

chuck norris sleeps with a night light on not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him

Clayton

2010-05-11 06:47:15

"Chuck Norris once defeated an entire army of ninjas with only a ball point pen, hence the saying, the pen is mightier than the sword"

Hayley

2009-07-31 14:09:01

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands!

Chubbs

2008-07-28 08:35:05

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about

markw

2008-07-21 15:09:55

Chuck Norris' pick up line is "Now"

Amanda

2007-11-22 10:49:09

Chuck Norris doesnt conisder it sex if the woman lives

The quickest way to a mans heart is Chuck Norris's Fist.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris's tears have been proven to cure cancer. Too bad he doesnt cry. But when he feels like crying, he roundhouse kicks himself in the face and he feels better because he knows he is the only person who survive the roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can touch M.C. Hammer.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Handicapped signs are warnings for anyone who parks there from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris pees in cans and sells it as Red Bull



Wow I love C.N.

unknown

2007-08-04 22:17:58

chuck noris doesnt tea bag girls he potato sacks them.

Derek Huynh

2007-03-30 13:41:49

I have one. "When Chuck Norris jumps into the ocean, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. The ocean gets Chuck Norris."