Chuck Norris Jokes > Chuck Joke 304

Chuck Norris Joke #304

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

Funny :) Not Funny :(

Comments:

megleeky

2012-04-17 16:35:19

Chuck norris doesnt shoot 20 rounds, he shoots one round 20 times

me

2011-11-11 17:01:02

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

Chuck Norris

2011-09-16 02:00:21

Apsay.... youre dead!

Chuck Norris

2011-09-16 01:59:53

Today all of you die

len

2011-07-16 05:17:33

Who's Chuck Norris???

Ivyeyes

2011-03-23 08:32:10

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

hi guys

2011-01-26 14:55:18

:0

2011-01-26 14:53:54

chuck norris sells his urine as a beverage known as red bull!

2010-12-25 19:07:47

guys below this i dont think this is very funny making all these mean comments..cant we all be friends?? anyways like i think its Christmas and that we should all hug and make up

chuck norris luver

2010-12-25 19:06:56

ok so today i saw chuck norris and i found out that he has the NICEST hindside

chuck norris luver

2010-12-25 19:06:53

ok so today i saw chuck norris and i found out that he has the NICEST hindside

I

2010-12-25 19:03:27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfaLr0p6q20

THIS IS THE BEST CHUCK NORRIS JOKE EVER!!! PLEASE WATCH!!!!

miles

2010-12-25 19:02:17

wow thats really cool

miles the second

2010-12-25 19:02:00

The "Lord of the Rings" directors wanted Chuck Norris to play Frodo. But Chuck denied them because he thought it would only take a pansy 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry.

chuck norris

2010-12-25 19:01:17

wow could you guys all just stop posting these stupid jokes about me because they ARE NOT funny

james cameron

2010-12-25 19:00:18

hi i made avatar

big stuff

2010-12-25 18:59:57

chris nowicki jack crooks and danny crooks r the coolest cats alive because they beat chucky norris in a darts tournament

a

2010-12-25 18:59:08

chuck norris likes it when you call him big papa

dad

2010-12-25 18:58:34

if u r reading this chuck norris is behing u

bob

2010-12-25 18:58:12

chuck norris jokes r stupid

jim

2010-12-25 18:57:43

chuck norris is so awesome that he is named jim

jonnybravo

2010-11-01 19:29:09

when chuck norris went to the virgin islands, he stayed for so long, that when he left, it wasn't called the virgin islands anymore

Miles

2010-01-06 19:30:58

The "Lord of the Rings" directors wanted Chuck Norris to play Frodo. But Chuck denied them because he thought it would only take a pansy 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry.

Jared

2009-03-29 14:39:08

Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights on, not because Chuck norris is afraid of the dark, Its because the dark is afraid of chuck norris

Mark

2009-03-04 15:02:37

LOL @ the Oscar and
LOL @ the calendar

xD

hudson

2008-02-21 19:06:40

chuck norris can believe its not butter

Johnny

2008-02-08 05:02:52

Chuck Norris has sex with every woman once a month. As a result, they bleed for 7 days.

Johnny

2008-02-08 05:01:33

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Kiltro

2008-01-01 00:27:21

There is one reason why Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his movie. No one gives Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's fucking suicide.

j.lee

2007-10-17 04:56:02

Chuck Norris can sing the national anthem. With his asscheeks.

David Salthouse

2007-07-06 10:36:58

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Patrick Walsh

2007-03-31 01:56:48

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. Chuck Norris annihilates ass and assigns it a number. Rumored to be in the billions.