Chuck Norris Jokes > Chuck Joke 289

Chuck Norris Joke #289

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

Funny :) Not Funny :(



2012-06-21 12:08:55

His tears cure cancer

he invented rap music when his heart started beating

when he was skipping stones he threw one so hard it hit him in the back of the head

his beard blocks bullets

when he goes hunting deer jump in the way of the bullet


2012-06-21 12:05:18

Chuck attacks sharks when he smells them bleed


2012-06-21 12:04:34

When God said "Let there be light" Chuck Norris said "Say please


2012-06-21 12:03:42

Chuck Norris does go swimming water just wants to be around him.

renan jewell

2012-02-19 22:30:27

chuck norris doesn't go hunting because that means he might kill, chuck norris goes killing

renan jewell

2012-02-19 22:27:44

there are 3 things that can survive a nuclear blast; cockroaches, Twinkies, and chuck norris.

renan jewell

2012-02-19 22:22:56

chuck norris one threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded.


2012-01-05 14:05:52

chuck norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eyes


2011-12-19 07:58:59

Chuck Norris is what Willis is talking about.


2011-11-14 12:34:03

Once a person stabbed Chuck Norris, after a few minutes the knife bled to death


2011-10-17 06:58:04

i like this joke


2011-07-05 20:29:01

You say god can walk on water well chuck Norris can swim in land


2011-07-05 20:27:15

Chuck Norris doesn't get hit by get hit by chuck Norris


2011-07-05 20:25:59

Chuck Norris got into a car accident lost both of his legs and managed to walk it off


2011-05-05 23:44:50

The U.S. Gov confirmed today Osama Bin Laden is not dead... He's just Hiding from Chuck Norris....


2011-05-05 19:05:46

there is enough chuck norris to go around


2011-05-05 19:05:01

chuck norris won an oscar without being nominated


2011-05-05 18:48:34

chuck norris has a dog that is a bounty hunter


2011-05-05 18:35:43

chuck norris doesn't need a flashlight he stares into the darkness and it gets out of the way


2011-05-05 18:27:51

chuck norris once got into a knife fight and the knife lost


2011-05-05 18:25:31

if chuck norris is running late, time knows to slow the hell down


2011-05-05 18:22:52

jalapenos think chuck norris is hot


2011-05-05 18:21:42

chuck sirron broke my draobyek because he didn't ekil what i etorw.


2011-05-05 18:18:13

chuck norris brushes his teeth with a knife


2011-05-05 18:16:13

chuck norris wasn't born like a normal child instead he punched a whole into his mothers belly, this is where the term C-section originated from.


2011-05-05 18:13:51

chuck norris asked what his country could do for him


2011-05-05 18:12:37

the only time chuck norris made a mistake is when he thought he made a mistake.


2011-05-05 18:00:23

chuck norris gives the dentist a balloon after his visit.


2011-05-05 17:52:28

in a battle between batman and superman chuck norris would win


2011-05-05 17:50:26

how many push ups could chuck norris do? all of them


2011-05-05 17:45:27

chuck norris does not eat or drink, nutrients and vitamins just know they better find a way in


2011-05-05 17:44:13

chuck norris broke the land speed record on a bike with no back tire


2011-05-05 17:41:40

most people have 32 chromosomes chuck norris has 64 and they are all poisonous


2011-05-05 17:34:01

i got suspended from school for saying Chuck Norris


2011-05-05 17:32:12

chuck norris is darth vader's real father.


2011-05-05 17:29:05

chuck norris's beard hair is considered money in el salvador


2011-05-05 17:27:58

when chuck norris plays the game of life it turns into the game of death


2011-05-05 17:14:18

once chuck norris was bitten by a snake, three days later the snake died


2011-05-05 17:12:57

when chuck norris takes a shower he doesn't get wet, the water gets chucked


2010-11-15 08:19:27

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands. They are now called The Islands.


2010-08-06 17:19:55

there could be a book of chuck norris jokes but you would open it and get a roundhouse kick to the face


2010-05-18 17:28:09

Jesus may be able to walk on water but Chick norris can swim on land

dylon pennington

2010-02-26 08:42:32

everyone thought that einstin created the theory of relitivity but if only we could see in the past that einstin IS CHUCK NORRIS

mikail nordquist

2010-02-26 08:39:58

when ever chuck norris farted the big bang happend

mikail nordquist

2010-02-26 08:37:38

in a battle between batman and superman chuck norris would win!


2008-01-01 00:30:03

Whenever Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror breaks. Not because Chuck is ugly, but because even glass knows you should never get inbetween a Chuck Norris, and a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris

2007-09-27 21:53:27

Once Chuck Norris was roundhouse-kicking some baddies in the face when all of a sudden he stopped.. "What's wrong" the baddies asked?

Nothing Chuck Norris said, I just stopped because I am tired... NAWT!~and he went back to roundhouse-kicking them in the testicles

Chuck Norris

2007-09-27 21:49:15

Once Chuck Norris was so angry, he roundhouse kicked himself in the face, instantly feeling better becasuse he knew he was the only one that could survive his roundhouse kick